Skip to main content

It's been 2 weeks

I am sitting here on my deck again this morning. I have a splitting headache.   The past couple of days have been almost unbearable.  I have not stopped crying.  As soon as I wake up I start thinking about Mamie and replaying everything in my head.  Why did this have to happen to us?????????????   I want my baby so bad I feel like I am drowning. So many of my friends are due right now.  Katy had her sweet little boy yesterday.  I am so happy for her but also it makes me very sad.  On Monday Lindsey came over for her last belly picture. We were about a week apart in our pregnancies and I documented her belly for her as she grew and changed. She told me that she was scheduled for a c-section on Tuesday, the 14th. I couldn't help it and started crying. My due date was Monday, the 13th and oh how I wish Mamie would be coming into our lives that day. I pray more than ever now. I pray that He will take this pain away, give me strength and comfort. Sometimes I just wish I could take a pill and make myself numb to all of this. I know He is there right by my side and is crying with me. Taylor is being so strong for me. Sometimes I wish he would just let his guard down and cry with me. I know he hates to see me like this and wants to be my rock. I couldn't imagine not having Taylor in my life. He is such an amazing husband. He is my sole mate. We have decided to go to a support group at St. Vincent. The first meeting is this Sunday at 2. I am very ready to go and visit with other parents who are dealing with the same loss. I think this will be good for us. Dr. Sellers called and the full pathology report is back. We are going in next Tuesday to go over everything. He told me that we will be able to have more children in the future which calmed my fears a bit. I thought I would be able to since I carried Mamie into the middle of my 37th week.  She was full term.  But hearing it out of the mouth of the doctor we love and trust so much just made us feel better.  He said once I am past the postpartum weeks we will start lab work on me.  I am really not sure but I think it might have to do with my blood.  I guess we will know everything on Tuesday. My family has been so amazing through all of this.  I feel like they must be getting tired of taking care of me.  I have only left the house a few days and as soon as I do I want to go back home.  Yesterday Britney and I went to Barbara Graves to get me a few new bra's.   One of the ladies who has worked there forever was very happy to see us come in.  She was helping people but when she walked past me she said something about how's the baby?  I turned and broke down into tears.  She knew I was pregnant but obviously didn't hear that we lost Mamie.  I know this probably won't be the first time this happens, but I hope it doesn't happen again for a long time.


  1. I have not lost a full term baby, but I did lose a baby at 11 weeks and can totally relate to feel like people are tired of taking care of you or hearing about it all. Hang in there. You will probably feel like no one is hurting anymore when you still feel like you did the day Mamie passed. Those are normal feelings. Just try to keep communication with your husband open that way he knows how you are feeling and vise versa. Sending lots of hugs your way.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Choroid Plexus Cyst (CPC) & Hydronephrosis

I have heard from many of your wondering what exactly these markers are and what could they mean. We received an information sheet from our genetics doctor that I can't seem to upload but I found this write up and thought I would share. The Choroid Plexus and Choroid Plexus CystsThe choroid plexus is an area of the brain that makes cerebrospinal fluid. Cerebrospinal fluid is the substance that surrounds the brain and spinal cord. The choroid plexus is not an area of the brain involved in thinking. Choroid plexus cysts are fluid-filled spaces in the choroid plexus kind of like blisters or bubbles. Choroid plexus cysts are not tumors or cancer, and they will disappear on their own usually between 24 to 26 weeks of pregnancy. Choroid plexus cysts, in and of themselves, are NOT a problem and do not interfere with brain function.They are seen in about 1% (1/100) of all second trimester ultrasounds. Choroid plexus cysts may be seen in one or both sides of the brain and the number, size…

Customized Plates

We have had many mom's contacting us wanting a plate made for their precious baby. We are excited to say this can be done. All we need is a copy of the foot prints. We are so excited that we can offer this. To purchase a custom plate you will need to click on the custom plate tab on the right hand side. You can choose and extras that would like to painted on your plate. If you decide to just have your prints transferred you will still get to choose a color for the rim of the plate. Please feel free to send us an email if you have any questions at all.
Thanks, Sarah

Peekaboo Article in NWA

Peekaboo magazine did an story on our loss with Mamie and how I came up with Mamie's Poppy Plates. I wanted to share it all with you. My good friend Meredith also has her story with Miller in the magazine so be sure to pick one up if you can. I will get her article and post it here in a couple of days. - Sarah