It has been 2 weeks now since this nightmare happened. I woke up this morning more overwhelmed by grief than ever before. I began screaming and crying. I cried so hard my head felt like it was going to explode. Why did this have to happen to us? We did everything right. I just kept crying out to the Lord to bring my baby back. I fell back asleep in pure exhaustion until I felt Taylor wrap his arms around me and kiss me on my forehead. It was close to noon and he had come home to check on me. I decided I would get up and see how I felt. It didn't take long for me to figure out I felt like I was still drowning. Mom and Silas were on the deck when I went outside and sat down. I felt like a zombie....I can't stop crying I told my mom. It just isn't fair. I want my baby back.
A beautiful arrangement was sitting on the table and the card read Joe Marchese, The Rockets. This is one of my favorite bands that plays at a ton of weddings that I photograph. It just amazes me all the people out there that are praying and supporting us through this time.
I was really thinking I might just go back to bed but am so glad I didn't because Avie, a friend of mine stopped by. Avie lost her sweet little angel last Sept. 15th. She brought me a HUGE HUG, some books and a gift card to Rejuvenation Clinic from she, Jayme and Kathryn. I can not wait to go get a massage. Avie and I had a great talk out on the deck. Being able to talk to someone who has been through the same thing really helps. I feel so much better. I believe that Avie and I will begin a strong friendship though all of this.
I was telling her how I just feel like there is a hole that I need to fill. The other day I thought I might go get a puppy. Then I decided maybe not. I really like having 2 potty trained dogs :) I told her how I got on Anthropology and truthfully I can't even tell you what I ordered. I do know that I ordered some door knobs. DOOR KNOBS?????? What in the world and I doing?She got a good laugh which made me laugh. It felt good to laugh!
Anyway, I am about to go take my daily bath and get out of my pj's. Taylor and I are going to attempt going to dinner with some of our friends tonight. I haven't had much of an appetite since all of this has happened. Smoothies have been my meal of choice. I am not kidding. I have had 1-2 smoothies a day but thinking of Bone Fish is making my mouth water right now.
I have heard from many of your wondering what exactly these markers are and what could they mean. We received an information sheet from our genetics doctor that I can't seem to upload but I found this write up and thought I would share. The Choroid Plexus and Choroid Plexus CystsThe choroid plexus is an area of the brain that makes cerebrospinal fluid. Cerebrospinal fluid is the substance that surrounds the brain and spinal cord. The choroid plexus is not an area of the brain involved in thinking. Choroid plexus cysts are fluid-filled spaces in the choroid plexus kind of like blisters or bubbles. Choroid plexus cysts are not tumors or cancer, and they will disappear on their own usually between 24 to 26 weeks of pregnancy. Choroid plexus cysts, in and of themselves, are NOT a problem and do not interfere with brain function.They are seen in about 1% (1/100) of all second trimester ultrasounds. Choroid plexus cysts may be seen in one or both sides of the brain and the number, size…
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