Monday, June 29, 2009
When we got to the church we were so amazed by all the people who came to be there on such a sad day. The church was packed and people were even out in front that couldn't get in. I couldn't believe it when people told me that. Reverend Andrea's words were so powerful and touching. She spoke with such emotion. Reverend Andrea was there the day that Mamie was born. She blessed Mamie that day. Reverend Andrea, Rev. Harriett and Rev. Lindsey visited us often during our 2 and 1/2 days in the hospital. Taylor and I along with our families felt comfort having them around. Here are Reverend Andrea's words from the Memorial Service. Memorial for Mamie Katherine Adams Grief is not a strong enough word. Loss does not begin to express the depth of the pain we feel as we mourn the death of Mamie Katherine Adams, daughter of Sarah and Taylor Adams. We are people of sorrow acquainted with grief gathered in this very room to hold one another up in love …knowing that there are no words. Sarah and Taylor none of us can understand completely what you feel. We are here to share in your loss because we love you. We pray that you are drawn closer to each other as you bear each others sorrow, and as you love each other into each new day. Our expected joy has been turned into sorrow. Why? How could God allow this to happen? It is not right. It is not fair. It is ok to be angry. It is ok to be angry with God. God loves us enough to handle it. God is big enough to handle our anger. It is ok to ask questions. There is more honest faith in questioning than in silent suffering. God does not want us to hold our questions in, our anger in, our brokenness, our grief or our tears inside. There is a Jewish tradition of the tear bottle… Tear Bottles have been a part of our world's history since before Christ's time. It has been said that our ancestors have used the small glass vessels to collect their tears, as a means for mourning and sorrow. David the shepherd boy who faced the giant Goliath and the King who faced the giant of grief when he lost his first child, wrote in Psalm 56:8 “gather my tears into your bottle O Lord”. These words remind us that God keeps a record of all human pain and suffering. God understands each tear that is shed and our tears never fall alone God is crying with us. We as parents wrap our lives around the lives of our children. What they feel we feel. What they suffer we suffer. God is this way with each of us. God is our heavenly parent and grieves with us in our overwhelming sorrow. Mamie’s death was not God’s will. Jesus said in Matthew 18:14 “It is not the will of your Father that one of these little ones should perish.” There is no adequate explanation. Time does not heal all wounds but God does bring healing in time. The God who knit Mamie together in Sarah’s womb is the same God who grieves with us in her death. God will not allow death and grief to have the last word. God’s love through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ has given us this promise, death has been defeated. Love will have the last the word. The hope of resurrection is that there will be no more tears, no more death…only life everlasting.
The day was a total blur. We felt like we were in another world. How could it be that we were burying our baby today? We had the graveside service first. It was such a beautiful day. There were tons of people crowded around when we arrived. I couldn't even look up. I felt like I might collapse or get sick. Mamie's casket was so small. Just 24 inches long... As soon as we saw it Taylor and I burst into tears. How could this be real? We had asked that poppies be placed on top of the casket since she was our little Poppy till we knew at 15 weeks that we were having a girl and gave her the name Mamie Katherine. The poppies were so beautiful! Reverend Andrea and Reverend Harriet delivered a beautiful burial and memorial. Our friend Dustin sang Glory Baby by Watermark and Reverend Lindsey participated in the memorial at the church as well. She lost her 6 year old daughter many years ago, but it is still so fresh for her. I don't remember exactly what was said at the services, but Reverend Andrea sent the words from both services to me so I can read them and remember. Here is what was said at the graveside. Graveside for Mamie Katherine Adams In the midst of life , we are in death; from whom can we seek help? Our help is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth. God who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through the Spirit that dwells in you. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our sorrows. Let us remember Jesus words “let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.” And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them. Jesus has taken Mamie Katherine up in his arms of love. Just as Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died so he cries for each of us today because Mamie is not in the arms of her mother where she belongs. We do not grieve alone. Romans 8 says, “What then can we say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” There are no adequate words. We can express our sympathy and sorrow. We can offer words of love, care and concern. We will pray for you. But other than that we don't know what to say about these things. Maybe it is because people don't know what to say that they sometimes say the wrong things. Some people may say that Mamie's death at this time was God's will. Don't believe that. The God we worship, the God who watches over us, doesn't will the death of our babies or the pain of their parents. Many, many things that happen in this world are not the will of God. Some people may say to you that God wanted Mamie in heaven. While I am confident God has welcomed Mamie into the kingdom, I am sure God did not want her to die. Some people may seek to comfort you by saying to you that you are young and that you can have other children. That may be true, but other children will not replace Mamie. She was her own person. The empty place her death has left in your heart will not be filled simply because you have another child. Nor should it be. Every child is unique and precious. I am sure the people who say things like this say them with a desire to comfort. They want to say something that will help. Bless them for it - but know that we are faced with a mystery - the mystery of life - and of death - in which there are no easy answers. "What" then, "are we to say to these things?" What St. Paul answers is, "If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else?" know that God is for you. God did not will Mamie's death or your pain. But God is with you in the midst of it all and will help you through it. God is for you. Almighty God, Into your hands we commend your daughter Mamie Katherine Adams, we surrender her to your love and keeping, in sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
MONDAY, JUNE 29, 2009 AT 5:35AM POSTED IN PERSONAL, PRAYERS Taylor and I wanted to share our little Mamie with everyone who has been praying for us and giving us support through this unbearable time. Today is the funeral and I have been awake for many hours now crying and wondering how in the world I am going to make it through today. Sitting outside on our deck has been so peaceful I truly feel the presence of God and I know we can make it through today because He will have His arms wrapped around us so tight. My dear friend Crystal Goss photographed the day Mamie came on June 25th. The pictures are just beautiful and something we will treasure forever. I put them to a song that will be sung by a friend at our church at both the burial and the service at 10. Thank you Crystal for doing this for us. I don’t know what I would do if we didn’t have these pictures. We love you all and please keep praying. -Sarah Slideshow