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Graveside service for Mamie

The day was a total blur. We felt like we were in another world. How could it be that we were burying our baby today? We had the graveside service first. It was such a beautiful day. There were tons of people crowded around when we arrived. I couldn't even look up. I felt like I might collapse or get sick. Mamie's casket was so small.  Just 24 inches long...  As soon as we saw it Taylor and I burst into tears. How could this be real?  We had asked that poppies be placed on top of the casket since she was our little Poppy till we knew at 15 weeks that we were having a girl and gave her the name Mamie Katherine. The poppies were so beautiful!  Reverend Andrea and Reverend Harriet delivered a beautiful burial and memorial.  Our friend Dustin sang Glory Baby by Watermark and Reverend Lindsey participated in the memorial at the church as well.   She lost her 6 year old daughter many years ago, but it is still so fresh for her.   I don't remember exactly what was said at the services, but Reverend Andrea sent the words from both services to me so I can read them and remember. Here is what was said at the graveside. Graveside for Mamie Katherine Adams In the midst of life , we are in death; from whom can we seek help? Our help is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth. God who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through the Spirit that dwells in you. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our sorrows. Let us remember Jesus words “let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.” And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them. Jesus has taken Mamie Katherine up in his arms of love. Just as Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died so he cries for each of us today because Mamie is not in the arms of her mother where she belongs. We do not grieve alone. Romans 8 says, “What then can we say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” There are no adequate words. We can express our sympathy and sorrow. We can offer words of love, care and concern. We will pray for you. But other than that we don't know what to say about these things. Maybe it is because people don't know what to say that they sometimes say the wrong things. Some people may say that Mamie's death at this time was God's will. Don't believe that. The God we worship, the God who watches over us, doesn't will the death of our babies or the pain of their parents. Many, many things that happen in this world are not the will of God. Some people may say to you that God wanted Mamie in heaven. While I am confident God has welcomed Mamie into the kingdom, I am sure God did not want her to die. Some people may seek to comfort you by saying to you that you are young and that you can have other children. That may be true, but other children will not replace Mamie. She was her own person. The empty place her death has left in your heart will not be filled simply because you have another child. Nor should it be. Every child is unique and precious. I am sure the people who say things like this say them with a desire to comfort. They want to say something that will help. Bless them for it - but know that we are faced with a mystery - the mystery of life - and of death - in which there are no easy answers. "What" then, "are we to say to these things?" What St. Paul answers is, "If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else?" know that God is for you. God did not will Mamie's death or your pain. But God is with you in the midst of it all and will help you through it. God is for you. Almighty God, Into your hands we commend your daughter Mamie Katherine Adams, we surrender her to your love and keeping, in sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

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