3 Weeks

Three weeks have past and I feel like some days we have made a little progress and then the next day we are back where we started.  This week has been really hard for Taylor and I.  We met with Dr. Sellers on Tuesday and went over the pathology report.  We left with so many unanswered questions.  All we learned was her cord was short (19.5cm where the average normal cord is 50-55cm).  Her placenta was small.  She was the size she was supposed to be at 37 1/2 weeks so he was not sure about that.  There was a kink in the cord where it met the placenta and there were blood clots in the cord.  The plan is for us to come back on Aug. 18th to do lab work on me.  They will send blood samples off to be tested to see if there is a problem.  If they come back positive then Dr. Sellers will put me on some kind of medicine for my next pregnancy.  We asked him what they would determine if the test results comes back negative. He paused and said he wasn't sure.   He would have to talk to more specialists.  Dr. Sellers and Barbara, his nurse, have been so amazing through this whole thing.  I can't imagine if we didn't have them.  The tears that kept appearing in his eyes shows us that we aren't just another patient of his.  He cares about us and his heart is broken about Mamie's death too.  

Sunday we went to our first support group.  It was pretty overwhelming for both of us.  Most of the people who were there had lost their babies 3-5 years ago. Seeing them still in so much pain made us feel like there is never going to be a good day again.  Taylor brought that up and they told us that the support group was their safe place.  They assured us that it does get easier but that we will never forget.  They have all gone on to have more children with no complications but through their whole pregnancy they were scared.  I can't imagine how worried we will be when we do get pregnant again.  

Last night some friends from our Sunday school class came by to visit.  Daniel is the head of pathology for Arkansas.  We asked him to look over the report and we were surprised and relieved by what he said.  He told us that he doesn't believe that I have any blood disorders.  He thinks that Mamie just out grew her home.  Her placenta couldn't support her anymore.  The kink could have been caused by her pushing against the placenta.  It was just bad luck pretty much from what he said.  Everything he said just made sense.  Going ahead with the lab test he thinks is a great idea but hearing that he believes they will come back negative makes us feel a lot better.