I think I am going to go soak in the bath. I have made it through another day. It hasn't been such a good day, but I have made it. Thank you Lord for being with me and letting me cry out to you for help. I know Mamie is in your loving arms and I will never question that.
I have been wandering around today just feeling sick. Why was our baby taken away from us. I want her back so bad. I just want my baby...........................I don't understand why all of these other people get to have their precious babies and we are sitting here with empty arms. My heart is broken and I feel like my world has been turned upside down. I don't know if things will ever be normal again. Everyone has been telling me that I need to rest and quit trying to do so much and maybe that is what I should do. I am not one to just lay in the bed all day. I want to heal.............Lord I just need your strength right now. I am hurting so bad. I feel like there is no way I am going to be able to do this. I just want my baby.................... I am supposed to be changing her diapers and rocking her right now. I feel so alone at times. I feel this emptiness and I know it's because she is not here. Lord please calm my heart and give me comfort. I've been sitting in her room. We have worked so hard on to get it ready and now there it is - all ready for Mamie, and she's not here. AH! I am so angry right now. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!