These past couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur. Besides being extremely busy with work last week was also a very emotional one. Monday is where the craziness began. NILMDTS sends out a mass text whenever they have been called in for a photographer. That is when the text began coming in and continued everyday last week with another loss of a baby. It was overwhelming and just made my heart ache. Lynette has told me that there are peak times when this happens and Spring is one of those. There are just so many people due around this time. I was able to go and photograph my previous clients cousin sweet baby boy on Tuesday. This is my second session but my first full term baby. He was so beautiful. Dark hair with curls and the most precious face. I had to get myself in the zone to document all his little features that will last this family a life time. I think the hardest part was being there with this lifeless little body that was perfect in every way while just in the other room there were about 10 newborn babies being taken care of in the nursery. I kept hearing one crying and would peek in to see. It just didn't seem fare. Why are some babies here only for a short time before they meet their maker? Having faith in God and knowing that you will see your little angels again is the only way you can get through it.
When we took the baby in with the family it was really hard. I felt like I was reliving it all over again. Every situation is different and everyone handles it differently but the whole scene was the same. People keep telling me how brave and strong I am to be able to do this after everything we have been through. I can't take credit for that. God has given me that strength. I feel His presence more than ever. There is a song that I am totally obsessed with by Mercy Me called "Bring the Rain". I have it as my alarm in the morning. What better way to wake up than to a praise song.
Here are the lyrics,
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
everybody singing
Holy holy holy
you are holy
you are holy
I think this sums up perfectly how I feel.
/Users/sarahbphotography/Desktop/08 Bring The Rain.mp3
Mamie's garden is so beautiful right now. I have taken pictures and plan to post them soon. I miss my sweet little girl so much.
- Sarah
Okay I have decided that time is going by way too fast. Burke just turned 3 the beginning of June! I can not believe it. I feel like just yesterday I was in the hospital having the little guy! We had a fun small family party and he is loving some super hero's right now so that was the theme :) Silas really wanted to jump out when he walked in and yell surprise so that is what we did :) Burke is super shy and he really wasn't a fan of it all. Pibby and Pops got him his first bike and it is SO cute. I picked up a balloon for all the kids and one special spider man one for Boo. He has always loved balloons. He said the sweetest thing....... he wanted to let his balloons go up to Mamie so she would know that it was his birthday. I couldn't believe he let his special Spider Man one go. It made me want to cry. She should be here with us. ANYWAYS, it was a fun day and I got some pictures of course and a few videos. Happy 3rd Birthday Burkie BOO! We love you so so
All I can say is beautiful sis. I love you.
ReplyDeleteGod is using you in amazing ways!!!! You are giving these families such a special gift and being an inspiration to so many others!!!! You are using the strength and talents that god has given you to bring others closer to him!!!!! I just know that Mamie is proud of her mommy!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhew! Sarah, God has given you a great heart. My most recent post is about me trying to make sense of life. What it boils down to, I think, is that He is in control and we can't see the big picture. It's all I can say. Thanks for your post, the song, and the wonderful picture. C
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