Skip to main content

Remembering Mamie- 10mths

Well today hasn't been the best of days. I guess I could say the past couple of days have been pretty hard for both Taylor and I. We miss Mamie so much. Everyday seems to go by and we are just stuck here in this sadness. The weather has been so nice and I keep thinking back to this time last year. I was really popping out and we were busy working on her nursery. I pulled out one of my spring purses the other day and found some pink fabric that I had brought home to look at. It just made my stomach turn. Today all I can do is think about why us? Why can't we be happy here with our 10month old. Why we couldn't be doing our usual Sunday afternoon errands with our little one strapped in the backseat. Instead today it was just Taylor and I riding around with our windows rolled down trying to enjoy the day but feeling totally empty inside because the biggest part of our lives is missing. We went down to the cemetery to visit her grave. We were both surprised to see that someone had brought her a potted rose. Taylor and I wondered around there cemetery for about an hour looking at tombstones. We haven't decided on a marker for Mamie yet but hope to do that very soon.
It has been really nice having this day just with Taylor. We spent most of the morning being quiet sitting on our deck. I can tell he is having a rough day. Taylor as you all know is a big talker and very few words have come out of his mouth today.
I want to tell you all that we really appreciate all of your continued prayers. This is a hard road that we will be traveling down for the rest of our lives. Moving on is something we will never do. You never get over losing a child you just learn to live with the pain. You search hard to find a new normal and that is what we are doing.
Today we remember Mamie who we love and miss dearly. We know she is having the best time in heaven and that does make me happy.
- Sarah


  1. Wishing you much happiness and many smiles during your difficult days:)- Evelyn

  2. Love you guys!! You are continuously in our thoughts and we are praying for you all! I pray you feel the Lord's arms wrapped around you and are covered with the warmth of his love.

    Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.Psalm 4:1

  3. Sarah, I just found your blog and read so many of your posts. The things I read here tonight helped my hurting soul. My husband and I were told the only way we could have children is through IVF. We did it and lost 3 precious babies. We are starting IVF#2 next month and I am depressed and scared when I should be excited. Everything you've written here means the world to me. Thank you so much for sharing with us.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Choroid Plexus Cyst (CPC) & Hydronephrosis

I have heard from many of your wondering what exactly these markers are and what could they mean. We received an information sheet from our genetics doctor that I can't seem to upload but I found this write up and thought I would share. The Choroid Plexus and Choroid Plexus CystsThe choroid plexus is an area of the brain that makes cerebrospinal fluid. Cerebrospinal fluid is the substance that surrounds the brain and spinal cord. The choroid plexus is not an area of the brain involved in thinking. Choroid plexus cysts are fluid-filled spaces in the choroid plexus kind of like blisters or bubbles. Choroid plexus cysts are not tumors or cancer, and they will disappear on their own usually between 24 to 26 weeks of pregnancy. Choroid plexus cysts, in and of themselves, are NOT a problem and do not interfere with brain function.They are seen in about 1% (1/100) of all second trimester ultrasounds. Choroid plexus cysts may be seen in one or both sides of the brain and the number, size…

Burke is 3!!!!!

Okay I have decided that time is going by way too fast.  Burke just turned 3 the beginning of June!  I can not believe it.  I feel like just yesterday I was in the hospital having the little guy!  We had a fun small family party and he is loving some super hero's right now so that was the theme :)  Silas really wanted to jump out when he walked in and yell surprise so that is what we did :)  Burke is super shy and he really wasn't a fan of it all.  Pibby and Pops got him his first bike and it is SO cute.   I picked up a balloon for all the kids and one special spider man one for Boo.  He has always loved balloons.  He said the sweetest thing....... he wanted to let his balloons go up to Mamie so she would know that it was his birthday.  I couldn't believe he let his special Spider Man one go.  It made me want to cry.  She should be here with us.  ANYWAYS, it was a fun day and I got some pictures of course and a few videos.  Happy 3rd Birthday Burkie BOO!  We love you so so…


Burke and Winnie just finished their first Vacation Bible School and they had a blast.  I did as well :)  I got to help in Burkes class which is always really interesting.  There were about 20 3yr olds in there so it was WILD :)  It was a fun 3 days of learning about how God is our light.  We sang "This little light of mine" everyday and Winnie is trying so hard to sing it.  She walks around the house with her little pointer finger up mumbling.  I love it.

- Sarah