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Another month

Yesterday I woke up in a total funk. I didn't want to get out of bed at all. I decided I would get my coffee and snuggle with Gus for a little while. I wasn't sure why I was having this kind of morning but I needed to embrace it and deal with my sadness. As I sat in the bed drinking my coffee I got a text from one of my very best friends Sarah. She said, "Thinking of you today, love you!". It hit me like a ton of bricks, today Mamie would be 18mths. I couldn't believed I forgot. I couldn't believe that Sarah remembered but then I thought of course she remembered! Sarah never forgets those important days with anyone. I sat in bed for a while loving on Gus thinking about my little girl. 18mths seems so long ago but it feels like yesterday to me. I thought about how she would be snuggled up in the bed with Gus and I. Her warm little body and sweet smell. I hope she knows how much her momma misses her. There is a hole in my life and heart that will never close because she is not here. Everyday is a new day and a new experience of how to deal with the pain. I am slowly learning to live with it. Live with the hurt and emptiness.

Mamie you will forever be in my heart. I love you so much sweet girl!

I appreciate all the comments from my last post. Especially from you mom's out there that have experienced this horrible loss. I do try to respond on the comments so be sure to check back.

- Sarah


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