When we returned home was when I hit rock bottom. Everyone went back to work and this is my slow time. Every year this is when we step back from the business and take a breath. Every morning I would wake up and just lay in bed. I kept wishing it would be a better day but I just couldn't seem to find that day. I started wandering around in the house not knowing what to do with myself. I felt like I was going crazy. I tried making list of things to do and that didn't even help. All I could think about was how much I miss Mamie and wondering how I was going to get out of this horrible place I had fallen into. I begged God to help me..... and he did. One morning I woke up and it was like the clouds had parted. I felt so much better. I was still sad of course but I felt like a part of me was back. I am so thankful for all of my amazing friends and family who kept calling and coming over. Even though many times I would just let the phone ring yall never gave up on me. God has once again picked me up in his arms and carried me out of the storm. These past couple of weeks have been SO much better. I feel like I have a purpose in life again. I have started back walking which has made a big difference in my days. I have also decided that I am going to get back to blogging more. I have received so many emails from you guys out there that have been touched by our story. So many that have found comfort in knowing you aren't the only one out there that are going through this nightmare of loosing a child and others that have found my words helpful in dealing with friends and loved ones that are going through the same thing. That makes me feel good. I started this blog for me during such a happy time and have found it therapeutic to continue journaling even though I am not so happy anymore. So thank you to everyone out there reading and remembering our sweet Mamie.