Today Mamie would be 3mths old.... I can't believe it has been 3 months. It seems just like yesterday. I miss her SO SO much. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what we might be doing this day if she were here. A lot of bad things have happened these past months since her death. 2 friends have also lost their babies and 1 has lost her husband. It is really hard for me to wrap my head around all of this tragedy. I ask God everyday why all of this is happening. Why so many good people have to deal with so much pain. I know sometimes we aren't supposed to understand. There will be a day when we will be able to ask Him face to face. I know He is listening to me when I cry out for help. He has given me more strength than I ever imagined I could have. My faith has grown so strong and He is giving me peace. I pray that these friends of mine find that peace in knowing they will see their babies and husband again. Thinking about what they are doing in heaven right now brings a smile to my face. Knowing they are without any kind of pain and are in the presence of God is such an amazing thought.
The other day I walked by the nursery and saw Gracie laying on the rug. We all have our moments when we go in there to be quiet and think about her. I happened to have my camera out and I was so happy to grab these pictures of Gracie having her moment with Mamie.
I can't remember if I have shown yall this but we had our 2 favorite pictures of Mamie framed up for her funeral. We wanted to share her with everyone. She was such a precious baby. We hung them at the end of the hall right by our bedroom. Mike at BK Moulding new exactly what I liked without me even having to tell him. He framed them so beautifully Alyson's (one of my dearest friends since we met in 7th grade) dad made this memory chest for us to keep all of Mamie's things in. When he brought it over I couldn't help from crying. It was so perfect and so beautiful. It means so much to us that he put his whole heart into making such a special gift for us.
I sit in Mamie's nursery a lot. So much love and time went into this room and I sit and stare at her crib and ask God why this had to happen to us. The crib is empty, there is no sweet baby sleeping in it. Just her monkey that I placed there right after I got it at the baby shower.
I don't think I have shared some of the things we brought home from the hospital. We are so blessed to have been at St. Vincent's. The love and compassion they showed is truly amazing. Lynette our bereavement nurse has done so much for that hospital and has been out educating other hospitals and their staff on how to care for families that have lost their babies.
This is a little memory box she made for us. I love being able to look at her little foot print whenever I want. This is a dress that some women make and donate to the bereavement program. Mamie wore this dress and it is so special to us. Inside the memory box are all the things that touched Mamie. The soap and lotion that they used to clean her up. There is a hair brush that they used to brush her beautiful curls. The socks that they put on her precious feet. Her hospital tags that were around her wrist....and then a piece of her hair....
Here is a remembrance angel that Heather sent me that I keep in the nursery. This is one of my favorite things they did for us at the hospital. Mamie's sweet little hand print......ah this is so hard for me right now...... I can touch her hand and feel where every little line was with my own fingers. It really is so special.
I told yall in an earlier post that Taylor's family gave us a bench for the garden. It is perfect and means so much to us to have it.