7 Weeks- Starting to see the light

The weeks have been flying by and little Winnie is already 7wks old. I feel like I am finally getting back to feeling normal. It has been really hard for me since Winnie was born. I don't want to sound ungrateful for this precious little baby but it has been very hard and emotional for me. Besides all the crazy hormones you have going on, no sleep and her having reflux and wanting to be held most of the time I think I have had a hard time with Winnie being a little girl and her looking so much like Mamie did. I felt like I had prepared myself for these feelings but I guess you can't ever really prepare yourself for something like this. I have had many different emotions. One minute I would be happy then sad curled up in the bed crying. I have felt a lot of guilt for feeling this way. All I have ever wanted was to have healthy babies and now I do. I have been praying a lot for peace in my heart. Reminding myself that Winnie is not Mamie and I shouldn't compare. I found myself obsessing about things with Winnie that made her change from looking like Mamie did and wanting to fix it. I hate it that I have felt this way...... Over the past couple of weeks and after going to see Dr. Sellers I feel I am finally balancing out. Coming to terms all over again that Mamie is not here with us but she a part of both Burke and Winnie.

I feel like I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now. The gray skys are fading and everything in my life seems brighter.

- Sarah

Comments

Burke is 3!!!!!

Okay I have decided that time is going by way too fast. Burke just turned 3 the beginning of June! I can not believe it. I feel like just yesterday I was in the hospital having the little guy! We had a fun small family party and he is loving some super hero's right now so that was the theme :) Silas really wanted to jump out when he walked in and yell surprise so that is what we did :) Burke is super shy and he really wasn't a fan of it all. Pibby and Pops got him his first bike and it is SO cute. I picked up a balloon for all the kids and one special spider man one for Boo. He has always loved balloons. He said the sweetest thing....... he wanted to let his balloons go up to Mamie so she would know that it was his birthday. I couldn't believe he let his special Spider Man one go. It made me want to cry. She should be here with us. ANYWAYS, it was a fun day and I got some pictures of course and a few videos. Happy 3rd Birthday Burkie BOO! We love you so so

Baby Burke- Please Pray

Taylor and I went in for our big ultrasound this morning. I am 18 weeks along now, so they were checking out our baby boy closely. They found 2 genetic markers that caused a red flag. One cyst on the brain and his kidneys are enlarged. We need lots of prayers right now. Prayers for these markers to disappear and for our baby boy to be healthy. We also need prayers for our sanity as we wait, hope and pray. We will go back for another ultrasound in 8 weeks (March 31). We were told not to look this up on the internet and would appreciate only positive comments on this situation. God is good and we are leaving it in His hands. Thanks for your prayers, Sarah

NO FEAR!!!

I took the kids to the park this afternoon once the sun came out. It was so beautiful and we love Woodlands Edge park. Lots of trees, green space to run and Slides:) Winnie is small but that girl is mighty. She has NO FEAR when it comes to the slides. Which is totally different for me since Burke has always been so cautious. I love days like this. Feeling very blessed! - Sarah

Poppy Seed

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