7 Weeks- Starting to see the light

The weeks have been flying by and little Winnie is already 7wks old. I feel like I am finally getting back to feeling normal. It has been really hard for me since Winnie was born. I don't want to sound ungrateful for this precious little baby but it has been very hard and emotional for me. Besides all the crazy hormones you have going on, no sleep and her having reflux and wanting to be held most of the time I think I have had a hard time with Winnie being a little girl and her looking so much like Mamie did. I felt like I had prepared myself for these feelings but I guess you can't ever really prepare yourself for something like this. I have had many different emotions. One minute I would be happy then sad curled up in the bed crying. I have felt a lot of guilt for feeling this way. All I have ever wanted was to have healthy babies and now I do. I have been praying a lot for peace in my heart. Reminding myself that Winnie is not Mamie and I shouldn't compare. I found myself obsessing about things with Winnie that made her change from looking like Mamie did and wanting to fix it. I hate it that I have felt this way...... Over the past couple of weeks and after going to see Dr. Sellers I feel I am finally balancing out. Coming to terms all over again that Mamie is not here with us but she a part of both Burke and Winnie.

I feel like I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now. The gray skys are fading and everything in my life seems brighter.

- Sarah

Comments

Baby Burke- Please Pray

Taylor and I went in for our big ultrasound this morning. I am 18 weeks along now, so they were checking out our baby boy closely. They found 2 genetic markers that caused a red flag. One cyst on the brain and his kidneys are enlarged. We need lots of prayers right now. Prayers for these markers to disappear and for our baby boy to be healthy. We also need prayers for our sanity as we wait, hope and pray. We will go back for another ultrasound in 8 weeks (March 31). We were told not to look this up on the internet and would appreciate only positive comments on this situation. God is good and we are leaving it in His hands. Thanks for your prayers, Sarah

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As you all know, I am Mamie's mom, and Mamie was my first child. I was pregnant with her from October 2008 to June 25th, 2009 when she was born a sleeping angel (stillborn) two and a half weeks before her due date. Stillbirth and infant death are realities that too many parents face even today. Did you know that each year 1 in 115 babies delivered is stillborn? And 1 in every 102 newborns die before the age of 28 days old? Now, a year after losing Mamie, I have started Mamie's Poppy Plates, my organization providing keepsakes for parents who are not able to take their babies home from the hospital. Because handprints and footprints are something that we cherish as parents of children in Heaven or here on this earth, I wanted to find a beautiful way to preserve such a precious reminder of our babies. Your donation of $13 will provide a plate to bereaved families who are delivering at St. Vincent Hospital. Their baby’s birth stats, hand and footprints will be stampe...

Leaving it in God's hands

Taylor and I have been given the okay to try and get pregnant again. I haven't blogged about it because I really wasn't sure I wanted everyone to know. I remember everyone saying how fertile you are after you have a baby and how most people get pregnant quickly. It has been 4 months now and I have really been struggling with all of this. I guess I had it in my head that God wouldn't make us wait very long after all the pain we have gone through. For those of you who don't know it took us right around a year to get pregnant with Mamie. I am not big into taking drugs. Not that I think it is bad for people to take medicine. It just isn't for me. My mom found out about this book called "The Infertility Cure" written by Randine Lewis, Ph.D. You can click on the book and it will link to a book store. We ran out and got the book and I began interviewing acupuncturist. I found a wonderful lady Dr. Lei at Shie Ji Acupuncture Clinic . She is an amazing woman. N...

Poppy Seed

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