Poppy Seed

Taylor's mom had her surgery on Monday morning, and she went home yesterday.  Her lymph nodes were clear and the cancer hasn't spread.  Praise God.   She will have reconstructive surgery next summer.  I don't think it could have gone any better.  We thank you all for your prayers.     - Sarah

Today Mamie would be 3mths old.... I can't believe it has been 3 months. It seems just like yesterday. I miss her SO SO much. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what we might be doing this day if she were here. A lot of bad things have happened these past months since her death. 2 friends have also lost their babies and 1 has lost her husband. It is really hard for me to wrap my head around all of this tragedy. I ask God everyday why all of this is happening. Why so many good people have to deal with so much pain. I know sometimes we aren't supposed to understand. There will be a day when we will be able to ask Him face to face. I know He is listening to me when I cry out for help. He has given me more strength than I ever imagined I could have. My faith has grown so strong and He is giving me peace. I pray that these friends of mine find that peace in knowing they will see their babies and husband again. Thinking about what they are d...

Britney just sent me this poem. We have been talking about how hard it is when people ignore what has happen to us. I can see it in their eyes when they see me from a distance. Almost a cringe of not wanting to have to talk to me. Not knowing what to say... I know people don't want to make us sad and not talking about her or asking how we are doing is the way they think they can do this. We will always be sad and have that hole in our hearts for our baby girl. It makes me more sad inside when people act like nothing has happened. We WERE pregnant for 9mths and we HAD a baby that died. It is what it is.... we will always talk about Mamie she is our daughter and this is our reality. What a great way to sum it all up with this poem. - Sarah Go ahead and mention my child, The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal b...

While we were working on the garden this beautiful lime green moth stayed on our front door. I had to take some pictures. We love you Mamie. -Sarah

I have been meaning to show you guys more pictures of Mamie's garden. I took these a few weeks back and they have just been sitting here on my computer. We are so happy with the way it looks. All of the light pink azalea's have are blooming right now. It is so beautiful! -Sarah

Today is Taylor and my anniversary. I can't believe it has already been 5 years! I am truly blessed to have such an amazing man. He is not only my husband he is my best friend and I love him so much. Happy Anniversary Taylor! - Sarah

We heard back from my doctor last week and my homocysteine levels came back normal. That is a good thing from what I have heard. We are still a little confused on all the information we were given but my doctor sounded very hopeful that we will be able to have more children. Hearing this did bring a smile to my face. Knowing that we can have more children gives us hope for the future. Having another baby will never take away that hole in our hearts that we have for Mamie. We will never forget her. She is our first born and we will miss her always. Taylor and I went to see Dr. Baltz (my hematologist) last week. They ended up taking TONS of blood again which I was not expecting. Dr. Baltz was super nice and very sensitive to our loss. He is going to check my homocysteine levels again and I will be going back for another appointment the first of October. Pretty much they believe that Mamie's placenta was small because it wasn't getting the nutrients that i...

Britney and Jason had a lovely family birthday party for Silas. I can't believe he is 2 years old. He was very excited to open his presents :-) Uncle and Kiki got a big hug and thank your for the awesome guitar we got him. Now it is time to rock out! It was hard for me sitting there celebrating and being happy without Mamie there. I had a small melt down in the bathroom and then pulled it together before anyone knew. We took my family up to see Mamie's garden and the beautiful bench Taylor's parents and siblings gave us. Isn't this the cutest cake. Britney made it all by herself :) I love this picture of Maddie and Silas. Pibby and Pops with the birthday boy. Uncle and Kiki Mom and her sisters.