Poppy Seed

Last Thursday I got a call from Dr. Sellers with my lab results. He told us that all the blood work came back negative except that my MTHFR enzymes (everyone has 2 and both of mine) were abnormal. All of this is so over my head and I really don't know what to think... He said that this puts me at a higher risk for blood clots, heart disease and stroke. He asked me to come back in and give more blood so they could check my homocysteine levels. He said if my levels are normal I will probably be put on some supplements and if they came back high I will have to see a specialist. Hearing this news really put a rage of emotions through my body. I didn't understand why this wasn't seen in the blood work that I had when I was pregnant.... If we had of known Mamie might have been here with us right now. I don't know really what I wanted to hear. We kept ourselves busy this weekend working on Mamie's garden. I just got a call saying that my homocystei...

Last week family and some friends met Taylor and I at St. Vincent's for Mamie's nameplate dedication.  Thank you to the women's bible study group for doing this for us.  We are so blessed to have so many caring and wonderful people in our lives. The Chaplain from the hospital came and blessed the nameplate after Taylor and I placed it on the wall.  We asked Lynette, our bereavement nurse, to read the words to "Glory Baby".  It was so special.... We miss our Mamie so much.  Here are some pictures that some friends took.  On our way home that night the sun was setting behind the clouds.  The sky was beautiful and pink.  I decided to get out and take some pictures.  I ended up down at the lake in our neighborhood.  The water was like glass that night.  It was so peaceful... I knew Mamie was there with me.  I ended up sitting one the bench for about an hour. Here are the words to another beautiful song someone sent me by the group Mercy Me.   ...

I wanted to share this song that someone sent me yesterday. Thanks Samantha. - Sarah "Precious Child" Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Goo In my dreams, you are alive and well Precious child, precious child In my mind, I see you clear as a bell Precious child, precious child In my soul, there is a hole That can never be filled But in my heart, there is hope 'Cause you are with me still In my heart, you live on Always there never gone Precious child, you left too soon Tho' it may be true that we're apart You will live forever... in my heart In my plans, I was the first to leave Precious child, precious child But in this world, I was left here to grieve Precious child, my precious child In my soul, there is a hole That can never be filled But in my heart there is hope And you are with me still In my heart you live on Always there, never gone Precious child, you left too soon, Tho' it may be true that we're apart You will live forever... in my heart God know...

Today I started the morning off having breakfast with Britney and Silas. We sat at Silas' little table along with his monkey's and Momo (aka Elmo). It has been another amazingly beautiful mornings so we went on a long walk around the neighborhood after breakfast. It really seems to help my day when I get out for a walk and some exercise in the mornings. Britney and I just got back from the cemetary. We went to visit Mamie's grave. Britney made the sweetest wreath to place there until we get a marker. Thanks Brit for everything you have done. You are such a wonderful big sis. I don't think I could have made it through half the days without you. - Sarah

Yesterday was a day we have been waiting 8 weeks for.  Having more blood work was not something I have been looking forward too but it is bringing us one more step closer some kind of closure on Mamie's death.  I still keep asking myself why this happened.  Did I do something wrong?  Was I just not paying attention............  Walking back into the clinic was harder than the last time we went which was around 2 weeks after Mamie was born.  That day I was such a zombie and totally numb to everything.   I wasn't that way yesterday.  I was totally aware of where I was and what was going on around me.   I feel like everyone that walked past me was pregnant and happy.  I got pretty anxious sitting in the room waiting for Dr. Sellers.  The more we waiting the more anxious I got. That horrible day started replaying in my mind.  It was that very table I sat and waited to hear my sweet babies heart beat.  Taylor could tell I might be on the edge of busting into tears.  He began talking...

Hi All, It is Britney here.  I thought I should take a minute to let you all know how much we appreciate all of the love, support, prayers, flowers, songs, food, coffee, gift cards, donations, gifts and notes that we have received since we lots our precious Mamie.  We would never want to overlook anyone in our "thank you's" and we are worried we might.  We are overwhelmed by the kindness and thoughtfulness you all have expressed.  Please know that we are so blessed to have your support.  God is good. -Sarah, Taylor and Family

We had a really good night. Taylor came home and started working on the front yard while I got dinner ready. He kept yelling for me to come out to see all the turtles he was finding. We saw a baby turtle and he was high tailing it for cover. I have never seen a turtle move that fast. He was so cute. We invited my parents over for dinner and they arrived about the same time Alyson did. Just minutes after the timer went off on the oven. I have never timed dinner so perfectly. After dinner we all set out on the deck. After my parents went home Alyson and I decided to stay outside and keep talking. She is such an amazing person and is like a sister to me. We have known each other since 7th grade and the day we meet I knew we would be life long friends. While we were talking Taylor came out to see if I had checked my email lately. Our bereavement support group "Journey" is this Sunday. We had received an email of reminder and to let us know that there ...

It has been a while since I have blogged. Not much has gone on around  here. Still taking it one step at a time. Taylor and I headed over  to Hot Springs last Friday for a mini vacation. It was his 29th  birthday. We needed to get away for a while. We spent time with  Taylor's family as well as some good friends while we were there. We  got back yesterday and we couldn't wait to get home to see the pups.  Gus was so excited I don't think I have ever seen him shake his whole  body that fast. Gracie on the other hand just wondered up to us and  stood there. I think she might have wagged her nub a little. She  cracks me up. I know she missed us. She just doesn't ever show any  kind of excitement unless there is bread involved. We also came home  to more cards which was so nice to see. Then there was a little gift  sack sitting on the counter. It was a necklace from a friend of mine  from high school. On the necklace is a St. Philomena and after  reading Anna's letter I...